i just got back from my spanish class. i think that i'm somewhat comprehending spanish.. i obviously don't know EVERYTHING yet. the teacher seems willing to teach me and work with my traumatic brain injury and ACTUALLY be EMPATHETIC towards my brain injury UNLIKE CERTAIN RELATIVES (*COUGHS* AMANDA *COUGHS*). HE ACTUALLY UNDERSTANDS MY MEMORY PROBLEMS THAT ARE TIED WITH THE BRAIN INJURY AND SEEMS WILLING TO WORK WITH THEM INSTEAD OF PUTTING IT ON SOME UNHELPFUL ASS FACILITY WHICH DOESN'T EVEN REALLY HELP THEIR CLIENTS UNLESS THEY HAVE ADVOCACY TO STROKE THEIR DICKS TO MAKE THEM APPEAR AS IF THEY ACTUALLY HELP THEIR CLIENTS- WHETHER THEY HAVE ADVOCACY OR MONEY.
i went to bed last night moderately early for me (it was like 10:30 ish when i laid down but it always takes me a long time to fall asleep EVEN with my CPAP- which i DID have on) and my left arm was hurting me a little (i had called the ics office phone yesterday morning and the guy gave me tylenol because it hurt), however this morning when i called, the guy just said, "well i just left there like a few hours ago.. so it wouldn't really make sense for me to go back.. could you get the tylenol yourself?" then i said, "well.. my arm hurts whenever i reach, so i doubt i'd be able to reach on top of the fridge to get it without being in pain which would probably make me fall." then he said, "well i JUST left there and it wouldn't make sense to go back.. can't you just close your eyes until the next staff comes on at 7?" so i said through my teeth, "okay. fine." then i hung up and called my case manager and care coordinator and left them messages about my problem. then i tried to fall asleep, the pain pissed me off so much that i just got my ass up outta bed and i was gonna get those tylenol EVEN if they were on my fuckin fridge.. luckily- i found them on my counter before i went to my bathroom to grab my reacher to reach on top of the damn fridge. i took 2 tylenol and put the bottles back on the counter and went back to bed. i actually managed to fall back asleep relatively fast until i had to wake up at 8 to get ready to go to my spanish class at about 9:30. it kinda annoys me because i have a feeling these ICS workers are being paid too much to do shit they do on their own damn time IF AT ALL. i almost fell going to the bathroom last night because i use my left arm for leverage when i'm falling and it just happens to hurt and feels like needles are pricking my fingers. the nurse who fills my anodyne machine now is here and i told her about the pain in my left arm- all she said was to tell my doctor, this is my FIRST time having this particular nurse.. just my luck. i had actually considered calling the main nurse because her phone number was on my recent calls in my cell phone last night/this morning when i was in pain. when i see my doctor- they better not jump to putting that damn baclofen pump shit up my ass again because that was inconvenient as hell and it stuck outta my stomach- i needed to be careful that it wouldn't get hit or damaged. SO YOU TRY HAVING AN IMPLANTED DEVICE IMPLANTED INTO YOUR BODY WHICH NEEDS TO BE REFILLED EVERY MONTH. NOT CONVENIENT AT ALL BUT OF COURSE IT DOESN'T CONCERN THE PEOPLE THAT DON'T HAVE THEM- SO WHO CARES ABOUT WHAT'S INCONVENIENT FOR STACY AND IF THERE ARE ANY ALTERNATIVES! i more than likely don't need a replacement one in because they haven't even tried putting me on baclofen pills as an alternative yet- which is definitely more convenient for me if i need anything at all. i'm not a doctor. so i'm not gonna go sending my cousins to rehabilitation centers that i've never been to myself to see if they're not just an institute who takes advantage of disabled clients without advocacy JUST because my in-law works there and it'd make me look "caring" (even though i never answer their phone calls or returned their messages- i just avoid responsibility by telling them they "got this!" to get them off my case IF I ACTUALLY TAKE THE EFFORT TO DEAL WITH THEM!). so with all that said- nobody gives a damn about my health problems and i'm NOT in a place where they're willing to adequately help me even if they ARE paid to assist and care for me. YET- MINNESOTA IS THE "BEST" FOR HEALTH CARE EVEN IF SHE CAN'T TALK FROM FIRST HAND EXPERIENCE TO KNOW WHAT'S BEST! IT'S MORE CONVENIENT THOUGH- SO FUCK ALL OF STACY'S GOALS- EVEN IF SHE WORKED HER ASS OFF TO ACCOMPLISH THEM. SHE MAY BE SMART BUT SHE'S CRAZY- SO WE CAN JUST TRY TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THAT JUDGMENT FOR OUR CONVENIENCE.. RIGHT AMANDA?!
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